A Video Memorial for Edward Law Murphy

http://player.vimeo.com/video/16542040

Edward Law Murphy from Patricia Murphy on Vimeo.

Edward Law Murphy

July 17, 1938-November 5, 2009

Edward Law Murphy was born on July 17, 1938 in Covington Kentucky to Edward Richard Murphy and Frances Elizabeth Law. He was preceded in death by his parents. He is survived by his cousins Margaret Maxwell and Ellen Maxwell and his children William Edward Murphy and Patricia Colleen Murphy. Ed passed away in Vitas hospice in Cincinnati, Ohio the evening of November 5, 2009 from cancer.

Ed grew up in Covington Kentucky where he and his family lived on St. Clair street, first in a 3 room house where Ed slept on a pull-out couch, and then right across the street where he had his own room. Ed’s Uncles Farrell and Shaler lived nearby and often visited Ed on their way out hunting with their Beagle named Runt. Ed contracted polio at age 6 and was sent to Children’s Hospital in Cincinnati, where doctors told his mother he would never walk again. Due to her determination and insistence that Ed do physical therapy exercise ever day, Ed was able to shed his crutches. It was just after he was able to begin walking again that his Aunt Elizabeth Murphy took him for his first airplane ride on a TWA jet. It was then that he developed a passion for aircraft that would last his entire life.

Ed graduated from Holy Cross High School in 1958 and left for his undergraduate work at University of Dayton. He majored in English, but took many courses in Engineering and Philosophy. While a student at the University of Dayton he took a position as a drafting assistant at Wright Patterson Air Force base. He also enjoyed the sour cream cakes his Aunt Irene often mailed to his apartment.

Upon graduation from University of Dayton in 1962, Ed spent a semester of law school at the University of Kentucky. He was very interested in law, but he could not find a job that would allow him to continue his studies. So he returned to the house on St. Clair Street, and lived with his parents while looking for employment. Soon he landed a position as a Technical Writer at General Electric Aircraft Engines in Evendale, Ohio. During this time he trained for and earned his private pilot’s license. During the field exam Ed was nervous because he had a hard time with the rudder and imagined that was due to his bum leg. He struggled throughout the flight to push the rudder and worried he would not pass due to his difficulty. When he finally landed the plane, the in-flight evaluator said, “You did a great job, especially with that sticky rudder.” Ed laughed about that story a thousand times during his lifetime.

It was soon after he started at GE that Ed met Bill Ewing, a handsome, intelligent, hilarious friend who Ed looked up to as a mentor. It was at a party at Bill and Lynn Ewing’s home in Cincinnati that Ed met Barb, Bill’s younger sister. Barb and Ed dated for five months before they were married. Soon Ed was offered a position as a Technical Representative, and the couple relocated to the Philippines. During their time there they had the trip that both of them remember as the happiest of their lives—a week in Bangkok where they did lots of shopping and touring. The blue Thai Batiks hung above Ed’s bed until the day he died. The couple also purchased many pieces of furniture that became fixtures in their home.

Back in the states, Ed continued his work with GE. On March 22, 1968 their son William Edward was born. They moved into a comfortable 2 story home in suburban Cincinnati. Ed was so proud of his house and very happy with his family. On October 7, 1970 their daughter Patricia Colleen was born. For the next years Ed traveled all over the world performing Customer Support for GE jet engines. He worked with many airlines including Mexicana, Eastern, Varig, and VIASA. Despite his grueling travel schedule and the added difficulty of travel due to his leg, Ed always brought home gifts for the kids.

Ed was on track to rise in his career at GE. He had an excellent knowledge of jet engines and commercial and military programs. He continued to enjoy his work. Soon, however, difficulties at home became overwhelming. Barb developed severe psychosis in 1986. She attempted suicide several times, which left the family feeling vulnerable. Ed was strong and proactive, seeking medical attention for Barb and working to ensure that she could retain the treatment she needed to control her suicidal ideations. Sadly, Barb escaped from the Pauline Warfield mental institution, and from there was held in roughly 30 mental hospitals in several different countries including Jamaica, Canada, France, and Russia.

This was a time of great hardship for Ed and his family, but he continued his work at GE and also continued to support his two children. After he retired, he lived a quiet life in the home that he loved where he enjoyed watching movies, reading, and using flight simulators on his computer.

Ed maintained strong relationships with his children. His daughter Patricia inherited the travel bug and enjoyed sharing her photos and stories with Ed. She also inherited his love of language. She went on to teach English at Arizona State University. His son Bill went on to work at GE.

Ed’s long-time love Barb died of a heart attack on June 2, 2009 and though they had been divorced for 20 years and there were some difficult times between them, Ed followed his bride to the grave within the year. Here is an account of his last few days written by his daughter:

Monday 11/2

Last Monday I called Dad (as I do every Monday) and he couldn’t talk. I called Tuesday and he couldn’t talk. So I got some more info from my brother, and decided to fly to Cincinnati to see if he was okay.

Yesterday John and I arrived. Dad had lost about 75 pounds—he only had size 46 pants in his room, but he only weighed about 120 pounds (he’s 6 foot). He had a baseball-sized tumor protruding from his chest, and was blind in one eye due to a tumor behind it. For me, he agreed to go to the hospital. He was admitted, but resisted all treatment or help and insisted he wanted to return home.

This morning, the pain in his eye became so severe that dad agreed to hospice care in the hospital, and he accepted morphine. He was moved to a quiet room, and I was able to hold his hand and help him be comfortable, then he fell asleep and has been sleeping since. The doctor guesses we’re looking at 5-7 days. It is progressing so quickly that the baseball is now a small grapefruit. John and I will be here for the duration.

Tuesday 11/3

Today dad’s health declined. He had only a few bites of food and a few sips of water. We decided to move him to an inpatient hospice where John and I can sleep in the room with him. The transport went fine, and we are keeping med levels steady so that dad does not feel pain. He is less lucid, but feels the love flowing. When I hold his hand or rub his forehead, he calms down and nods. When I tell him how much I love him he says “me too.”

He had visits from 2 dear friends from General Electric today. I know it made him feel so loved. When Ken Gee spoke to him dad could not open his eyes, but he said, “I think I hear Ken Gee.” It was a dear moment.

Thanks again to the front line workers who are keeping me fed and pointed in the right direction: John, Peggy, Ellen. Mary, Marilyn, and Aimee helped so much. Uncle Rick is coming in tomorrow night.

When mom died 5 months ago dad was my rock. We talked sometimes 4 times a day. I don’t know what I’m going to do when he’s gone. I’m so devastated.

Wednesday 11/4

Dad had a rough night, but what a blessing to be with him on the sofa bed in the hospice room. John and I took turns getting up with him about every 2 hours. I said to him, “I’m so glad John and I could be here with you” and he put on his polite Irishman face and said, “My pleasure.”

Dad’s having a lot of pain due to the tumor behind his eye. We also found another tumor on his leg the size of a petit pain. He would have found that an apt description.

Thursday AM 11/5

This morning Dad started to show signs of being unresponsive. The nurses put him on oxygen and are continuing his morphine. He is resting comfortably, and I am so relieved we got him here to hospice so that we can relieve his pain and so that we can spend these last moments with him.

We have lots of friends and family here. Jen is bringing us Skyline for lunch.

Dad looks so much more peaceful then he had in the past two days, like he’s ready for a long nap. I’m telling him stories, and I’m telling him how much I love him, and I promised him I will be strong.

I’ll keep you all updated. We’ll be planning a celebration of Dad’s life at his favorite restaurant, Montgomery Inn. For a while, Dad went there once a week. Every single time he went, he told me the exact routine of driving there, where he parked, what he ordered, how it tasted, and who waited on him. I am really going to miss that. What a dear, dear man.

Thursday PM 11/5

Yesterday we stayed with Dad at hospice all day. Lots of friends and family came to give dad much love. John went to the house and brought back a tub of family photos and we looked at them and shared stories while Dad rested comfortably. The nurses were in every hour, giving him pain meds and kindly explaining the process to us. After about 10 hours with Dad, we all decided we should leave to get some dinner. I asked the family for a moment alone with Dad before we left.

While the family waited for me downstairs, I took Dad’s hand and told him that I adored him. I thanked him for giving me his love of travel, his love of books, his love of language. I told him that I was grateful to him for making so many sacrifices to make my life better. I told him I was proud of him. And I promised him I would be strong if he was ready to let go. I kissed his hand, and I put it to my forehead.
When I looked back up at his face, I saw that in that very moment he had quietly taken his last breath.

The opportunity to be with him was just one of many gifts from my “beloved father-person.”

We gave Dad a proper Irish Wake at his favorite restaurant, Montgomery Inn. We shared pictures, stories, played music, drank a toast.

Dad wanted his body donated to science, so he is first going to University of Cincinnati Medical Center where the students will benefit from studying his untreated end-stage cancer. When we get his ashes, my brother Bill and I will split them and I plan to take a little bit of them to each country I visit. When Dad was younger he traveled the world. His job took him to more countries than I can count. When he couldn’t do that anymore, he lived vicariously through my reports of our travels. So I’ll just take him with me from now on.